Falling Off the Corporate Ladder

Today I was passed over for a management position at work. Names that were below mine on the org chart yesterday appeared above mine today. Just as a doctor calls the time of death—today at exactly 1:17 p.m. I called it…

I’ll never get another big promotion at work.

This happens to every guy if he stays at the same job long enough, right? At least that’s what I’m telling myself. I suppose the pain and feeling of rejection would be no different for an assistant manager at McDonald’s, realizing he will never become the store manager, or for a bank vice president who realizes he will never become the bank president.

Even a congressman who unsuccessfully runs for senator (or a senator who fails to become president), faces this feeling of rejection.

Once the bad news sank in, I became angry. Feelings of hurt followed. By the time I left work, I felt dejected and embarrassed.

But something magical happened during my commute home. My work life became more clear. Just as an alcoholic gains strength by acknowledging his addiction, I felt a strange peace as I began to accept my situation.

Maybe this is a good thing. I won’t have to:

  • Arrive early and stay late hoping my boss will notice.
  • Wear a tie on Friday even though it’s casual day.
  • Pretend I like everyone around me, (because I don’t).
  • Limit my lunches to thirty minutes (I was never good at that, anyway).
  • Attend the boring as hell Christmas party, unless I actually want to. I’m really starting to second guess my decision to put the word “hell” next to “Christmas.”

I haven’t decided whether to tell my wife. I’m afraid she won’t look at me the same when she realizes I’m no longer on the fast track at work. But, then again, she doesn’t look at me the same way ever since I started balding.

The ride up the corporate ladder was fun while it lasted. On second thought, not so much of the time.

Maybe I should take up golf, or something.